I’m Back!!

Well, I really didn’t intend for so much time to pass before I started this up again, but, there it is. I have been to emotional hell and back since I left you. Basically, at the end of May, I was sent by my company to work at the customer-from-hell. As if that weren’t bad enough, I had to travel to get there (something I really don’t want to do anymore) and, oh…yes….I WASN’T GETTING PAID FOR IT!!!!!! I actually had to pay to get there on my own credit card!!

My company started having cash flow problems and paychecks became not just later and later (that had started in January), but now they were non-existent. This lasted until they were bought by a larger company in September. I had several meltdowns during that time and gained 20 pounds!!!!

One thing this situation did for me was to make me realize that I can no longer wait for my dream of being self-employed. My business partner and I have launched our business AND I have stepped up my coaching practice. The goal is June 2010 for me take this job and shove it!

I am now getting paid regularly and have received my backpay – but I am done! Freedom, here I come!!!

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Happy Mother’s Day

Here is a song that gives me a chuckle every time I hear it.

I’ll be spending my mother’s day with my mom, my aunt and my cousin. We will have lunch together at my aunt’s home. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to spend it with my daighter since she and her husband just moved to Austin. We’ll just have our own special day in a few weeks.

I hope all you mother’s out there have a great day!!

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Friday Favorite – Moleskine

Today I’m trying to get away from the geeky toys and the food! So, I’ve chosen Moleskin notebooks as my Friday Favorite. These were also a favorite of Hemingway! According to their website: www.moleskin.com:

Moleskine is the heir of the legendary notebook used for the past two centuries by great artists and thinkers, including Vincent Van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and Bruce Chatwin.

I love to keep them around for those moments when I have a flash of inspiration. I have a large unlined one that I keep in my briefcase, and a small lined one that stays in my purse. I also keep a large one by my bed.

Of course, flaky as I am, I don’t always remember to write my “flashes of inspiration” down. I guess that’s a habit that you just need to develop. Since I lost my Franklin Planner last week – what a nightmare! – I have found myself reaching more and more for the Moleskine. I guess it was confusing when I had both, because many times I would write stuff in the planner.

I have since replaced the planner with a smaller spiral-bound one, and therefore, there’s not as much space for random notes. So, I think the Moleskine will start proving itself invaluable.

Besides, I’m such a nerd. I love the feel of fresh paper and new pens and pencils. I always loved the start of the school year when I got new school supplies. That was so EXCITING to me!

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Sacred Space

Last weekend night I was staying at the home of one of my seminary classmates in Brooklyn. She lives in a wonderful Brownstone in a very cute neighborhood. – the kind where the pharmacist knows the name of everyone enters and the neighbors all hang out at the corner cafe.

On Friday night she held her monthly women’s circle and invited me to attend as a guest. I was so tired that day since I had just flown in and hadn’t slept much the night before thanks to work and packing for the weekend. I had intended to go into Manhattan for another function, but was so tired, I decided to stay in and take her up on her offer. I am so glad I did! It was one of the most wonderful evenings I had had in a long time.

It was such a respite from the hecticness of daily life. Here was a space where women could come once a month and forget the demands of husbands, children, jobs and any other concerns. They were left at the door and you could see their shoulders visibly drop in relaxation as they came through the door. Friends greeted each other and slowly settled into seats and cushions that were formed in a circle on the floor.

The theme for the evening was Women in Nature. We started with a beautiful song to relax to and then my friend read an excerpt from the book, “Women And Nature“. Then the women slowly began sharing stories of nature and how it had an effect on their lives – stories from childhood and stories from that morning.

Afterward, we chatted and got to know each other. The whole experience was so calming and uplifting. It reminded me that years ago I had wanted to start a Women’s Circle and didn’t really know where to start. My friend has totally inspired me to get going with it. I’m really excited about starting this and will probably have my first one next month. I think it’ll be fun to design the format and come up with different themes each month.

I think we all need a bit of a “time out” from time to time. I think it’s time for some Sacred Space and I can’t wait to help create it.

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She’s not as smart as she seems…

Many of you already know that my dog, Isis, the Mighty Mouse Huntress, ingested rat poison a couple of weeks ago. I found her in the yard happily burying something. When I saw what it was, it looked like a turquoise square. I got suspicious because I had seen her messing around with the rat bait traps that are in the back of the yard the day before. I called the pest control company and asked them what the poison looked like. She told me they were “blue colored cubes”. Uh-oh! She immediately put me on the line with the manager. He told me I should look for signs of vomiting or discomfort. He also sent his second in charge over to the yard. They immediately collected the bait boxes. One of them had become compromised and the bait had fallen out.

After hearing horror stories of people who had lost pets to rat poison, I took her to the vet. He chastised me for not getting her in immediately so they could induce vomiting. As it was he did a clot check on her blood (3 minutes) – he said he would have been worried if it had been 6 minutes and “really worried” if it had been 10 minutes. He also sent her blood to the state lab for a toxicology screening. In the meantime he put her on Vitamin K, which amazingly is the antidote.

Many people reassured me by saying, “Isis is a smart dog – she didn’t eat it, she was just carrying it around.” Well, last week the report came back that she HAD indeed ingested poison. So we continued the Vitamin K. Since this is a slow-acting poison (up to 30 days), I am supposed to watch her for signs of internal bleeding – bruised tongue or lips or skin. I haven’t seen any of that…knock on wood.

Anyway, today we had to go back for another test. Her clot time today was 7 MINUTES!!!! OMG!!! So the poison was definitely doing something to her. The vet seemed very pleased with this number actually. He said that it would have been much higher at this point if it was taking effect. I guess because she was being treated, the number was much lower than it would have been if she hadn’t been being treated. He said by now, it wouldn’t be clotting at all. So, though I was still very freaked out, he seemed to think she was on her way to recovery. But, I’m still checking her for signs of internal bleeding.

Prayers are welcome!!!

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Birthday Brunch

On Sunday we had a birthday brunch for my mom here at my house. I really enjoy cooking and entertaining small groups, so I decided to pretty much make everything. We had my mom, my daughter (her husband was sick), my aunt (mom’s sister) and uncle, my cousin and her husband and son.

Here was the menu:

Harvest Strata
Lentil Pate
Lemon – Poppy See scones
Pumpkin Bread
Minty Fruit Salad
Turkey-Sage Sausage patties
Orange Iced tea
Mimosas
Vanilla Coffee
Lemon Cake

It seemed like so much food, but I have to say, we made a pretty good dent in it. And, by the time some people took home some leftovers, there was a very manageable amount left for me!

I spent most of Saturday night until 1 AM and all of Sunday morning preparing for this. I never did get my house completely clean. I ended up having to just hide things in closets and cabinets to make it look presentable.

But, the important thing is we had a great time and I really enjoyed cooking everything.

Friday evening my aunt, cousin, mom, daughter and myself will be meeting for our traditioanl quarterly (sort of) Ladies’ night – we always meet at one of our homes and everyeone brings something and we watch a movie. Any suggestions?

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Hope for America

“On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.” – Obama, inauguration speeh.

What an exciting day! I have never gotten so excited about an inauguration in my life! And my excitement goes beyond the “historical moment” theme that has been drifting around. It goes to a far deeper core of HOPE. I was so proud of our country – daring to make a statement about the old structures that are no longer working.

I think a lot of people have a lot of hope that Obama will change everything and make everything all right. Frankly, he has been handed a huge mess and it will take more than one man to “fix” everything. But, what is so inspiring is the fact that he has helped people feel that change can happen and so people feel more energized to be a part of it. I felt like there was an undertone reminiscent of Jack Kennedy when he said, ” Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

According to a quote I recently received from Neale Donald Walsh (author, Conversations With God):

I believe God wants you to know…

…that a new world is upon you and all peoples of the
earth. A different tomorrow awaits.

Nothing is going to be the way it was before. Not your
finances, not your politics, not your work life, not your
relationships, not the way you experience your spirituality
— all of it is changing…and going to continue to change.

The only question remaining: Will you be part author
of those continuing changes, or merely one who is
impacted by them?

In Obama’s words, “Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again the work of remaking America.”

He has asked for our help in this endeavor, and I think we can do it, one person at a time.
I think it will take time and work and a huge paradigm shift, but it WILL happen.
We can all be authors in this new world! Yes we can!

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Children as Political Pawns

I just had to take a few minutes out of my work day to post this. It appalled me that a school would actually stop a humanitarian assignment. THis blog entry talks about a charity that provides rice to countries that have citizens that are starving. I’d be interested to know what school pulled the assignment:

Houston Belief Blog

If you get a moment, go to the website referenced in the article and make your own donation.

Thanks!

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Who Let the Dogs Out?

OK, I have a question. I think I may have over-reacted this evening, and if I did, I am truly sorry.

Earlier this evening I was walking my dog, Isis, around 5 PM. This is just the time that some little creatures (I think they’re field mice) start getting active in the woods and bushes along the path in the park. One of Isis’ favorite things to do is to chase after them. I think she can actually hear them when they run through their tunnels underground. Because she will stick her nose in the weeds when she catches sight or scent of one and then all of a sudden she will follow a path along the ground until it stops somewhere (I presume it’s where the critter stopped to hide).

Isis, The Mighty Mouse Huntress

This evening was no different than any other. She was SO excited and on the trail of something. She apparently had one cornered and proceeded to dig a hole so big that she was able to fit a third of her body into it.

While she was up to her in shoulders in dirt, I looked up and noticed a beautiful German Shepherd mix watching her with fascination and, to my chagrin, unleashed! Now, I love to let Isis run as much as possible and would love it if we loved in a place where she could run free in the countryside. But, we don’t – we live in a large metropolitan area and there are leash laws.

It really irritates me when people let their dogs run off-leash in the park. The main reason I hate it so much is because how Isis reacts when she sees these “free-birds”. She starts out acting like she wants to befriend then and then before you know it, the teeth are bared and she is lunging at them!

Today, I was in no mood to mess with this, so I took it out on the owner of the dog.

I said to her, “That dog needs to be on a leash. Do you know what a leash is?”

She very timidly replied, “yes.”

“Did you know it is against the law to let your dog loose?”, I asked.

“yes,”, she replied, “but, he’s just a puppy.” Never mind that he was twice the size of Isis.

“Did you ever think that just because your dog may me nice, other people’s dogs may not be? Like mine,” I continued as Isis began lungeing for the nice puppy.

“I should let her attack just so you get the message!”

“It was just for a minute. I’m sorry.”, the girl replied meekly.

I actually felt pretty bad that I took my frustration out on her. But, honestly, is it too hard to take your dog to the dog park to let it run loose? They all get along there because NONE of them are on leashes. When a dog is leashed and is approached by a dog that is not leashed, the leashed dog becomes defensive.

This is how it was explained to me by a trainer. I would love my “dog” readers to comment – was I out of line? Maybe I was a bit too harsh, but certainly not out of line!

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2009 – A New Year, A New Theme

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. We all know they don’t work anyway. By the second week of the year, we’re already binging on the Haagen Daaz or watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives rather than working out at the gym. So, several years ago, I decided I would pick a theme at the beginning of each year and focus on it. Some examples of some of the themes I have chosen in the past are: Be Happy, Let Go and Let God, and I am the Gift. This year my theme is “Dare to Be Me”.

I chose this theme because I realized I am a very multi-faceted person. I have many different and diverse interests, and my friendships and connections reflect those diverse interests. However, I have always managed to keep those connections within their respective groups and not shown other sides of myself to each group except the one they expect to see from me. Unfortunately, this has become unwieldy. And, frankly, I am tired of not letting it all go and basically just being me in all my multiple dimensions rather than only showing aspects of myself at any given time.

So, here it is…my “coming out” so to speak. This is a blog about me and my thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs. I am sure that not everyone will agree with everything I say. My intention is certainly not to offend or hurt anyone. People who know me may be surprised by some of the things on this blog. Some might be shocked. Many probably won’t care one way or the other. But, it doesn’t matter, because in the end, this blog is for me and no one else.

I intend to be raw, candid and totally myself. This is really scary for me, as it probably is for a lot of people. Why do we hide who we truly are and present to people masks of whom they think we should be? I think it boils down to fear…fear of losing love, fear of losing friendships, fear of being ridiculed, fear of loss of respect, all of which boiled down to their primal aspects is a fear of not surviving.

I doubt anyone will agree with me all the time. Some of you will be shocked, offended, angered. Some of you may think I’m a little “out there” – but, in the end, my hope is that along the way we will laugh a little, learn a little and respect each other despite any differences between us.

Here’s to a very happy 2009!

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